How can I fight low self-esteem?

The traps of low self-esteem

Do you know someone who has low self-esteem? Then you probably also know that this feels very uncomfortable and has an effect. This article is about which wrong ways to avoid self-esteem and self-esteem and where the way out lies.

The inflated "I"

Those who have low self-esteem will find on the one hand always confirmations for itthat he himself is worthless. On the other hand, the "I" tries to make itself big, in front of itself and in front of others. The "I" tries to create an artificial self-image that is superior because it is the real one Self-image perceives as weak.

This effort to make yourself big can temporarily mask low self-esteem, while in many situations it breaks through self-doubt, self-torture, and harmful behavior. This path harbors Dangers that we should - and can - avoid.

How does low self-esteem develop?

Faked self-worth? Image source: [email protected]

As long as we do not have a healthy self-esteem, our “I” tries to create this through thought constructs. A child can never compete with adults in terms of physical strength or life experience, and in most cases not for many years in terms of intelligence either. This is also not a problem as long as it experiences love and appreciation during this time. Or when the parents have the confidence that the child will develop everything it needs.

I am better, smarter, richer ... than the others!

But if that is missing, the child needs something to compensate. For example, a child may feel morally superior to a dominant father. In this way the self can save and strengthen itself.

As adults, we have another spectrum available. In our opinion, for example, we are superior to someone because we are more intelligent than everyone else, because we are morally further, because we always know exactly what others are thinking, because we are rich, because we have more power, because we have a certain origin or origin Have race, because we belong to the right religion, etc. In esoteric circles, for example, it is less about the material but rather, one has a higher soul age, a whiter aura or is “further” than others. There are many ways to be proud of others, but that is not true self-worth.

You are nothing!

Regardless of what is true or false, the scheme is the Appreciation of the "I" and at the same time the Devaluation of "you" and "you". Whenever we feel superior, we attribute bad traits to others, and that seldom does our relationship with other people any good. This can develop into fundamentalism. Anyone who does not belong to my religion is despicable. Anyone who does not recognize my intellectual superiority is a danger and needs to be fought.

Anyone who experienced this pattern first hand as a child naturally suffers from it. We then have a choice: Either we do it the same way and devalue others, or we do exactly the opposite, realizing that all people, including ourselves, are valuable. Then we treat ourselves and others with respect.

You're just jealous!

Since we want to maintain our self-image with the deliberation, the methods of this Fight against all Bedoubter of the artificial self manifold. “You're just jealous”, “You just can't stand that I am better than you”, “You are in the ego and I am not”, with religious people, for example, “only God determines what is right (and you belong false religion or: I know what God wants) "etc.

Often no one is allowed to question their own point of view. The "I" puts its perception above that of everyone else: "I know the truth (and you don't)". At the moment when this program is running, hardly anything comes close to the person. Anyone who says something that does not fit their own beliefs is arguing with a wall. Because if criticism were accepted that would weaken the self-image, not boost self-esteem.

Wrong values

Apparent values ​​are also typical for the resulting fundamentalism, but they actually only apply to certain people or situations. They are right as a means of argumentation, as long as they are suitable for their own purpose. True values ​​would apply equally to all people, e.g. everyone's freedom is equal and one would have to stand up for the freedom of others as well as for one's own if one takes this value of "freedom" really seriously.

"Human dignity is inviolable, you stupid A..loch!" (From a mail forum of the Pirate Party.)

For many, justice is first and foremost that you get a fair share yourself. Justice for everyone, i.e. the realization of this value, is less a matter of course. E.g. in forums of the Pirate Party you can read that respect and human dignity are very important, but in the next sentence the same writer tries to denigrate or even denigrate the other person verbally annihilate. Respecting human dignity would mean respecting opinions and people. That is also an expression of a compensated low self-esteem as well as low self-reflection.

Ways out

We only need an artificial self-worth if the natural one is missing and if we compare or compete with others. This opens up three possible solutions:

  1. we stop comparing ourselves to others
    In our society, the idea of ​​competition is being driven more and more into all areas of life. Let's get rid of it and start to really get to know our strengths and values. Nobody can do everything, is everything. Each of us can find a place in the world with what he is and what he can be.
  2. we develop healthy, real self-esteem
    We heal our emotions, solve painful areas in our psyche and / or develop habits that increase our real self-worth.
    Alternatively, we can also continue to strengthen positive feelings in us. That's part of the Online trainings become more self-confident.
  3. we choose a self-image that takes us out of the game
    The problem of a lack of self-esteem always arises from a wrong self-image. A self-image that brings very strong change (which is to be read here will now surprise you) is the spiritually enlightened one. They say they recognize God in everything, including in themselves. At the moment when we actually feel and believe that all people are a part of God, competition or inferiority of the “I”, the “you” or the “you” no longer makes sense.
    You don't have to be religious to see the equality of human life. We should see the beauty and complexity that every person possesses and recognize that every person has their strengths and weaknesses - without exception - and therefore no one is inferior. What makes us different makes us beautiful.
    But here, too, be careful: Whoever defines himself as divine or enlightened and not all others, again devalues ​​the others and is still caught in the trap of artificial self-worth. From a biblical point of view, that would even be the Luciferian way, which wanted to take the place of God. Therefore, the path of transformation of the self-image should always be followed with an open heart.
    To see yourself and all people as equal is definitely a way out of low self-esteem.

Listen to life

We are all valuable, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you want to live a happy, self-determined life, there is no avoiding giving and taking. The exchange with our fellow human beings shows us again and again where we stand. And it is important to listen to the messages these people give us. Even if what these people say does not match your self-image.

This does not mean that what others say is always true. But use it to see where you are in life and how you are perceived. Pay attention to differences in how you perceive yourself and others correct something, either in your self-image or in its outward impact, if there is a difference. Only then can you be authentic.

But do not make what you do or can or cannot do or cannot do as your self-image. And do not evaluate what you can or do in comparison to other people, but rather:

  1. accept yourself as you are, with all weaknesses
  2. also accept your potential and always strive for what is really important to you.

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The traps of low self-esteem was last modified: November 22nd, 2015 by CU_Mayer